laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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