I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
