I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
