great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
