Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
