i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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