And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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