I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
