I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
