lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
