Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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