Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
