He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize