I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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