you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
please don't ironically join a cult
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