Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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