Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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