8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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