also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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