Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
