Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
