Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize