Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
