pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
