Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
