i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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