Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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