3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
