idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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