I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
