i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We got so high we made milksteak
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
