I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
