Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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