we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
