He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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