no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
