I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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