so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
