did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
