Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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