3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
