i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
