he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize