It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
