Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
