Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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