i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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