there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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