Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you inspire me to be a worse person
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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