Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
