Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
