Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
