Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
