No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
