I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
