i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
