I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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