i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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